27th May 2018

I have been away from home for almost a year now. At this time I feel as if I am standing, exposed, in front of a window, with my reflection stuck in the glass pane. It is a clear reflection, against the darkness on the other side, of my self and my past in the background. This has been a period of retrospection at the same time I am trying to glimpse into my future. I feel that that as much as it has been unsettling it has also proved to be beneficial for my growth as a person and as an artist.

I came with a lot of suppressed fear, anger and resentment about who I am and what I had been through. My challenges turned into struggle because of the fact that I was born with a vagina and not a penis. Due to all of this, the only solution I thought would work was to disregard this part of me. This part made me feel ashamed of myself and I was worried if I would be embraced in this new environment. I worked with all these elements this year until I was at peace with them. The sense of peace brought acceptance with who I am and my past, present and my future. It slowly gave my work a new face.

Also, the fact that I recognized my cultural roots played a very important part in this development. Being in Wales means not being in India. My presence here has made me more aware of the absence of that lifestyle, which is now embossed in my work very placidly. At this time I see that my work is tied to my identity as a woman and then to my cultural identity as an Indian.

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